Q.Hi Jeremy, How come guys can only think about sex? Can’t they think about anything something else for five minutes? I met this cute guy at a party a few weekends ago, I gave him my number and we’ve hooked up a few times. He’s funny, doesn’t seem to have anything weird goin’ on and I’m attracted to him. But he’s too pushy with the physical. I mean I just met the guy, I want to take it slow but his paws are all over me. - Kate
A.Dear Kate,
Guys are easily aroused sexually. It doesn’t take much and they start to heat up. It’s usually something visual. Generally, guys are more turned-on visually than girls. That’s why they are into porn.
We live in a sex-charged culture. MTV, album covers, the Internet, TV shows and fashion all provide lots of stimulation. I saw Katie Couric’s TV special, “The 411: Teens & Sex” recently on NBC. She reported that nearly three out of ten young teens are ‘sexually active’. This doesn’t necessarily mean teens are having intercourse, but it means more is going on than talking and watching TRL.
A few tips:
1. Watch what you wear. Your skin is like bait to a guy. Show too much, too early and he’ll be drooling and you’ll be wondering why. So don’t always wear your skin-tight, midriff-baring, top and how-low-can-you-go below the hip jeans. Save something for his imagination.
2. Check out what you are doing. If you are dirty dancing in the dark, or hopping on tables, expect the guy to be fired up. Think through your entertainment options. Avoid lap dances!
3. Build up the other parts of your relationship first. You know, force the guy to engage his brain, his opinions, his feelings (yah, I know – risky) and what’s important to him. If you go for the physical too fast and too furious you never get around to growing these parts of your relationship, and these are the things that make it last.
Good luck,
Jeremy
