“Are You Popular?”

During my second month of college, our professor hit us with a pop quiz.  I was a capable student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her fifties, but how would I know her name?
     
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class
ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

“Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
It is so easy to be consumed with homework, tests, who likes us, who doesn’t, and if we are having a good hair day; that we might tune out some of the people around us. We dismiss them as “not important” – non-essential service-providers, as if they weren’t human and more like an appliance like a vacuum cleaner or washing machine. It’s easy to dismiss ‘the little people’ to put it into Hollywood-speak.

We live in a culture enchanted with externals. Popularity, possessions and status are the standards by which we measure ourselves. That’s why we read those glossy magazines at the check out counter in the grocery store. We are fascinated with the lives of celebrities.

Can you imagine if they did a cover story on your life? The headlines might read:

Tracy ate oatmeal for breakfast. See the close-up photo on page 17.

Marvin dissected a frog in biology. He cut it the wrong way and got a ‘D’

James forgot his PE shorts and got a detention from Coach Lycra Shorts.
                              
BORING!

But we are into celebrities. We think that they are successful because they are popular. This is a subtle trap, because success doesn’t always come from personality or popularity; just think back on the many ‘one-hit-wonders’ that were hot one day and gone the next; only to be remembered when VH-1 dregs them up on “Where Are They Now?”

Have you noticed that in our culture, people are rewarded more for personality than character? In fact, at times, being a young person of character can lead to teasing and harassment:

“Dude, you don’t want to be the only one who fails the final. Here, look at the answers. I gottem right here. C’mon, don’t be a wuss!”

It wasn’t too long ago that character was more important than popularity. That ‘who’ you are was more important than ‘how popular’ you are. This is a powerful concept to keep alive. It is a timeless principle that you can build on.

All of this emphasis on personality and popularity can stress you out.

“Why?”

Because you can’t control much of it. The personality obsession says the goal is to be liked, so we are forced to do what others want us to do; to wear what others want us to wear; to talk and spend like others want us to. The whole drive to be cool makes individuals vulnerable to the opinions of others. And as you know, those opinions can be flaky – what’s cool today could be out tomorrow.

Notice the contrast between trying to be cool and popular vs. developing genuine character:


Character Is In the Details

It’s the little decisions in life that develop character. True character isn’t made during the big decisions or the challenges. Character is forged by the seemingly small choices we make everyday, like taking the effort to say “Hi” and learn the name of someone in our life that we might be tempted to overlook.

Something to think about,
The Old Guy